That Was Then This Is Now

Times have changed a bit since I was in school. As I get older, things that seemed so earth shattering then, now seem like no big deal. For all that, I wouldn't be a kid today. The rules have changed and responsibility for our own actions and what once passed as common sense have been regulated out of existence.

For some examples of how life has changed, consider the following scenarios.

Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

1973 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.

2011 - School goes into lockdown, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

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Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1973 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

2011 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

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Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

1973 - Jeffrey is sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.

2011 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

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Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.

1973 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2011 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister tells a state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself, and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

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Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.

1973 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.

2011 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

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Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

1973 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, and goes to college.

2011 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given a diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English.

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Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1973 - Ants die.

2011 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated. Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

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Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1973 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2011 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.

If things keep going the way they have been we might see the following...

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California.

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White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

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Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock fail.

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Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.

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Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

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Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

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France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica .. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation!

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Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

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George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

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Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

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85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

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Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

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Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba.

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Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays.

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Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

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Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

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Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches with only 3 illegitimate children.

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New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030.

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IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

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Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines.

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Think about it.

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