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The Online Magazine FOR and ABOUT Southside Virginia

2/14/2026

Dog Days of Catty Whompus Summer

   By Tammy Tillotson

   Whoever came up with the slogan �Dog Days of Summer� probably didn�t have two small children and a mother-in-law with a house full of cats. He probably also wasn�t in the middle of trying to pack up one house and move into another one, all the while feeling like the only thing really moving (and in the wrong direction) was the closing date! Now throw in some terribly hot and humid Southern Virginia weather and a two-year-old who thinks that Bob the B-B-B-Builder comes with the new house and you may have an inkling of an idea as to why our family ultimately decided to forego the summer vacation this year.

   Admittedly, I�ve always been one of those �Life�s a Beach� persons. While I have always loved living and growing up in a wonderful small town atmosphere, I also really look forward to a brief change of scenery � sitting back, relaxing, and losing track of time in a low lying beach chair. There�s just something about sand between my toes and huge ginormous blue-green waves being the only friendly things waving hello at me all day. It�s peaceful. It�s good for the soul! It�s a breath of fresh sea salt air! It�s a few less chirpity-chirp crickets and blinkity-blink lightning bugs at night!

   So this summer, while many other folks were heading off to white sandy beaches and the indulgence of enjoying a tropical fruity beverage � the kind with an umbrella in it that�s really only there to try and trick your mind into thinking that it�s really not as hot as the blazes even though it really is � I was kicking back in Southside Virginia, trying very hard to convince myself that it was indeed five o�clock somewhere.

   As I enjoyed watching the waves of phases on the new house, the boys spent a good portion of the summer in two blue plastic kiddie pools where they splashed around, pretended to surf on their boogie boards, and yelled constantly, �Mommy watch! This is just like the big, big water!� For those without little ones at home, or who haven�t experienced The Land Before Time and Ducky�s baby dinosaur language, certain words are given emphasis through repetition. �Big, big water� is what the little dinosaurs call the ocean. In regards to the comparison between the children�s blue plastic kiddie pools and the real ocean, I would have to agree with Ducky�s signature line � �Oh, no, no, no!�

   While I usually do consider myself to be fairly imaginative, there is definitely a huge difference between the sand on the beach and Virginia�s red clay dirt. For one thing, the sand on the beach easily shakes out of shoes. On the other hand, red clay dirt sticks to the soles � particularly when wet � about ten times better than gorilla glue! Needless to say, the pitter-patter of little feet running through amber waves of red clay is not a sound I�ve become overly keen on hearing, though I imagine one of those outdoor shower things would certainly have come in handy on more than one occasion. I also now completely understand and truly appreciate why a mudroom is such a nice feature in a home!

   Don�t worry! �Can we fix it? Yes we can!� As annoying as it sounds, the Bob the B-B-B-Builder mantra has sort of become a summer staple around here. I think it started one day when I suddenly felt like I had been cast in the role of Muck, or perhaps Queen of Muck (one too many pair of shoes caked in red clay really can do that to you). A few days later, as my youngest was screeching Bob the B-B-B-Builder at the top of his lungs, my husband and father-in-law were laughing at him, and commented how having Roley and Scoop around while building the deck would�ve made their job a whole lot easier!

   While they were building the deck, with some much appreciated assistance from other family members, there were great stories retold about how decks used to be built back in the day, and long before county building codes. Now I remember how my grandma always said, �Cut once, measure twice� when it came to fabric and sewing because cloth was expensive. Apparently, since lumber is a whole lot more expensive than fabric, the adapted version for construction projects of that old adage might be something like, �Cut once, measure twenty times!�

   I�ve never seen so much measuring before! To be frank, I thought building a deck was sort of a lot like cooking. Granted, that probably wasn�t the best comparison for me to begin with as between my grandma and growing up in a catering business, I quickly learned to �eyeball� (without measuring) how much of this and that went into a bowl and to whip up something wonderful in a matter of minutes. Well, that doesn�t exactly work well with lumber. It can be tried, but the boards end up all catty whompus. When one board is all catty whompus, chances are pretty good the rest of them are going to be all catty whompus too!

   In the end, I think there may be a couple slightly catty whompus looking deck boards but it�s finished and I think it�s beautiful. Better still it passed inspection last week! And as my husband said, �The 4x4s and 6x6s are down twenty-eight inches in that red clay, so they sure ain�t going nowhere!�

   (I can vouch for that too...he made me hold the tape measurer and take pictures just so we would never forget how deep down in red clay that goes.)

   As my father-in-law recently pointed out to me, Virginia�s red clay is definitely not a thing like the sand at the beach. He�s willing to bet a hurricane could hit and the entire house might blow slap away, but that deck would sure enough still be standing!

   Ironically, perhaps in preparation for that hurricane, the deck has already managed to take in its first refugee. Years ago, my husband brought home a stray dog from college as a condition on moving into a place whose owner couldn�t take the dog to her new apartment. He knew his mother would love the dog and eagerly adopt it. I might add, he didn�t ask his mother ahead of time - he just brought the dog home that weekend, in addition to his laundry!

   Although we haven�t even moved into the house yet, Bradley has decided he�s very happy underneath our deck, and my husband�s parents are rather amused that the dog was smart enough to go home to his rightful owner.

   I don�t see the humor, but I imagine I will just yet.

   One of my mother-in-law�s cats, Elizabeth, just loved my children...but only until she fell asleep in my youngest son�s dump truck. He excitedly thought she wanted to play Bob the B-B-B-Builder, so he pushed a button and dumped her out! I�m not sure if it was the shock of being dumped out while she was sleeping, or the loud flashing lights and beeping sounds, but now she runs and hides soon as she sees him coming!

   Can we fix it?

   ~Proverbs 3:6

Tammy Tillotson is a freelance writer in Chase City, Virginia. She is the editor of the upcoming Writers Studio Young Authors Anthology entitled Bull Bay Review.

You can E-Mail Tammy Tillotson at: tammytillotson@discoversouthside.com